One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 5)

This is the distillation of what I’ve learned in 47 years, call ’em “life squeezin’s” for the lack of a better term. Personal application may cause serious rash and/or burning. Contents may have settled. Objects are much, much closer than they appear.

#26 Sweatpants are for sweating. Wearing them away from home for any other reason sends the signal that you’ve completely given up or are ill. Go change.

#27 Coffee is magic.

#28 Never trust a man who wears shoes with no socks, unless in the tropics, then avoid sock-wearers at all cost.

#29 If asked to leave a job, do not burn it down on the way out; all parties may become desperate enough to revisit this relationship.

#30 Do not, under any circumstances, return. This rule applies to women and bands* as well, only more so.
*Unless you’re Ozzy, but you’re not.

One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 4)

One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 3)
One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 2)
One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 1)


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