One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 6)

If you have the good fortune to stay alive 48 years, you can’t help but learn a few things. I hope this saves you some of the trouble. If swelling, discoloration, or bleeding occurs, put down the list and notify your physician.

#31 Pretend that you belong somewhere, and people will usually assume you do.

#32 Never. Call. The. Cops. There is no bad situation that can’t be made worse by the addition of the authorities.

#33 Stay limber. You will be glad you did when the cops show up and/or people finally realize that you do not belong.

#34 For fuck’s sake, keep your hands off of your fucking face! Stroking your chin in a pantomime of deep consideration is, in reality, anything but. This is how you get sick all the time.

#35 I was a smart kid but not very wise. Now, I’m wise as hell but still do things that aren’t very smart. Endeavor to be both and see where you end up.

One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 5)

One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 4)

One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 3)

One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 2)

One Man’s Manifesto (Pt. 1)

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